We make promises or commitments to others and to ourselves. God has given us the freedom to make promises. The question is: Do we keep them? Or are we promise breakers?
We do not realize that such trivial promises like making an appointment with a friend or a colleague or promising to finish a job by a fixed time are indicative of the real worth of an individual. People often dismiss minor promises as insignificant. We promise a friend to call back, but don’t call back; we don’t repay a small loan that’s outstanding; or we forget to keep a rendezvous. Maybe it just doesn’t seem important to keep a secret after making a promise. But failing to take the minor promises seriously, we run the risk of destroying trust and damaging our reputation. Failing to keep these small promises gives the appearance of being disorganized and irresponsible.
On the other hand, we can build trust by demonstrating that we keep our word even on seemingly inconsequential things. Perhaps even more important, when people realize that we consistently keep smaller promises, they will reasonably believe that we can keep our word on important things. This will actually help us build an enviable reputation for dependability, reliability and trustworthiness.
I am reminded of a civil servant, who worked closely with me in the state government, who always responded with ‘Sir, treat it done’ whenever I asked him to do something. What was remarkable about him was that the job was actually done without delay.
When we fail to keep a promise the other person thinks that we don’t value him. He
thinks that we consider someone or something more important than him. This can result in an attrition of trust in our relationship. In fact, this is a common trait in our civil servants. Most of them tend to give assurances to citizens which they have no intention of pursuing. However, some exceptional civil servants are careful to make promises, and after making a promise to make efforts to fulfil it. They are remembered by people even after their leaving their place of posting.
On a personal level, if we are aware of the fact that we do not value our word, we might lose respect for ourselves. Eventually, it can harm our self-esteem, confidence, and experience of life. And, when we feel shame or guilt, we could start to suffer from stress or a crisis of confidence. We might let ourselves down, too.
Therefore, we have to be careful while committing to do something. We should be aware that once we make a commitment, we create an expectation. Every promise raises anticipation in somebody’s mind. So, it is prudent to never make a promise we are not sure to keep. Promises should be like edicts set in stone.
A test every civil servant should take:
- How often do I make agreements with myself?
- How many of those agreements do I keep?
- Do I trust myself to keep my word?
- Do I always mean yes when I say it?
- Am I comfortable saying no?
- Am I direct with my no?
- Can others depend on me to keep my word?
- In what situations am I most prone to fib, or to withhold or “bend” the truth?
- Am I prone to gossip or to self-critical statements?
- Do I “walk my talk,”
Let us examine the promise we make. The benefits that we intend to draw from making a promise are earning the admiration of someone, earning the gratitude of someone or looking good in the eyes of someone. On the other hand, the costs of fulfilling that promise include the effort needed and the deprivation of doing something else.
We unconsciously make a cost-benefit analysis in our mind in respect of every promise. And when we infer that the cost of fulfilling the promise is greater than the assumed benefit, we decide to break the promise.
Therefore, it would be wiser to do the cost-benefit exercise before (and not after) making the promise. We should not make promises impulsively. It is better to stop and think whether we have the resources to do what we are going to undertake.
Secondly, we should think carefully about our motives for agreeing to a request. Do we really want to help out, or are we saying “yes” just because it would please someone? Also, we should ponder over whether there is something else we should focus on
Sometimes we believe that in the event of failing to keep our word, we can give an explanation or make an excuse to prevent any possible damage. It is better to avoid
falling back on subterfuges like these. They put our honesty, dependability and reputation on the line.
Keeping your word is one of the keys of the Ethics of Public Service (EPS). If you keep
your word; you don’t leave any mess behind. Further, it becomes your identity. If you do not keep your word, people do not know where you stand.
For ordinary people, promises are made to be broken. For leaders, it is the essence of leadership. Some people still make promises and keep them. They make the life around them more stable and beautiful.
In sum, if you honour your word:
You live without fear for your selfhood that is who you are as a person There is no fear of losing the admiration of others
You do not have to be perfect; you act with confidence
In most organizations, keeping your word exists as a virtue rather than as a necessary condition for performance
Therefore, if you choose to be a person of character, you have no choice when it comes time to honour your word
Endpoint: In a very real sense you are your word.
